It's time for summer vacation, and you are visiting your grandma in her big old mansion for a week. When you arrive at your grandma's house, your parents give you a goodbye hug and you walk up to the front door with your grandma. As you tug the door open, it gives a protesting squeak and creaks open. Inside you see a bunch of antiqued furniture. looking back, you see your parents driving away.
tiptoe up to pg.2
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You walk into the mansion and look around. No lights were on, and a dark mist surrounds you. Shaking slightly, you stare at the pictures on the walls. One man in the pictures had huge yellow eyes that seemed to follow you where ever you go. Looking out of the dusty windows, you see a graveyard surrounded by dead tees and rotting skeletons. A foggy swamp surrounds the graveyard and house on three sides. You suddenly wish you hadn't come after all. Your grandma whispers in a hoarse and spooky voice, "Come walk in the graveyard with me, but keep quiet, or you might wake the dead..." you shudder, and manage to sputter out, "um, i don't know..." "You can go upstairs and explore, if you don't die first..." replies your grandma with a small laugh.
[pg.3] go to the graveyard with your grandma.
[pg.4] go upstairs and explore
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[pg 3]
You decide to go with your grandma to the graveyard. As you walk out the door, a strange odor fills the air. The door slams shut and locks up tight. You suddenly feel queasy. You look around, but your grandma is no where in sight. Sense you can't go back into the house, you take a walk in the graveyard. Just then, you see a door open in the side of the mansion.
[pg 5] You go through the door
[pg.6] Keep walking in the graveyard.
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You decide to go upstairs. As you run up the creaky old stairs, your grandma gives a loud shriek and screams goodbye. You wonder if she meant.. no, she couldn't have, its just upstairs...When you arrive on the second floor, you see two straight rows of doors, all of them shut. Then you see a door with your name engraved in it. This must be my room, you think.
[pg.7] keep exploring
[pg.8] go into your bedroom
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You decide to walk through the door. As soon as you go through, the door disappears behind you, leaving you trapped inside with no escape. Looking around, you see bare black walls with splotch's of blood on them surrounding you. Suddenly, a huge, black door appears about 10 feet away. The walls start closing in on you fast. You quickly run towards the door, and finally reaches it. Tugging it open, you just make it outside. You are in a dense forest, surrounded on all sides by a huge, murky lake. Alligators are crawling towards you, snapping their jaws, and the black door is nowhere to be seen. You back away from the alligators. Suddenly, your grandma appears beside you. Cackling, she murmurs, "Great, my lunch is finally ready," and reaches out to grab you. You back away, and slips from the slippery ground right into the water with a splash. You here your grandma screaming, and smiles despite your condition. Then everything went black...
sink down to pg.9
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You decide to keep walking in the graveyard. As you walk pass a huge comb stone, bony skeleton hands shoot out of the ground and reaches out to get you. You scream and leap back, terrified. Just then a black cat leaps out and pounces on the hands, which shrank back into the ground. You stare at the cat as it purrs softly and motions for you to follow it.
Follow the cat to pg.10
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You decide to go explore. You go up to the door nearest to you and pulls it open. Walking in, you look right into a bare white room. Suddenly, a bright beam of light shoots out towards you. Quickly, you run out and slams the door shut before you can get blinded. You go through the next door and you see huge bears. The door disappears behind you and you scream in horror. Closing your eyes, you feel a bear scratch you hard with it's sharp claws, and feel the warm blood trickling down your cheek. When you finally open your eyes again, you find yourself back outside the door. The third door leads to a tremendous mirror. You look at your reflection and see the huge scratch mark on your cheek. You watch the blood slowly drip to the floor. As you turn to go, your reflection steps out of the mirror and suddenly theirs two of you. You turn to run, but the door was not there. Sighing, you mumble, "This is REALLY getting old.. fast." The other you laughs and disappears, leaving you trapped.. AGAIN.
Hurry on to pg.11, before your reflection gets you!
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You decide to go to your room, but the door is jammed shut. Tuff luck.
Walk back to pg.4 and choose to go to pg.7
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You had fallen in to the lake and left your grandma mourning about her lunch.. you. You suddenly open your eyes and see that you're in your bedroom in your house with your parents. They look down at you with concern and say, "Are you alright?" You nod and wonder what was going on. You were dead, sunken deep in the lake...RIGHT? Suddenly the phone rings and your mom hurries away. When she came back, she had a somber look on her face. "Your grandma just died." she says to you. You smile silently. The old witch was gone at last. everything was great, sense you finally reached...
THE END
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[pg.10]
You follow the black cat, running hard in the chilly day. Just as you were getting tired, a white cat appears from behind a bush and pounces on the black cat. The black cat turns into a witch, and the white cat leaps onto her head, hissing and scratching. "Get off me head, you mangy cat!" screamed the witch. The white cat suddenly spoke loud and clear, " Quick, grab the wand from the witch's pocket!" You grab the wand and the cat jumps off the witch's head, turning into a beautiful princess in a silk dress. Grabbing the wand, she gives it a slight wave and the witch turns into a scrawny mouse, skittering away quickly.
watch in awe as you head to pg.12
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[pg.11]
You are stuck in a room where your reflection had just stepped out of the mirror and disappeared. Just as you were getting desperate, a huge coffin appears behind you, and your reflection appears in front of you. Behind the reflection was the door. You try to run towards it, but your reflection catches you and pushes you down. Grinning, it points to the coffin behind you, and you see the name in graved in it, your name! Then you see your birth date and death date.. Today! You struggle towards the door again, but the reflection tosses you into the coffin and the lid slams shut. You hear the lock turn and feel a bunch of spiders crawling up your body. The lid won't budge. You're trapped forever. You're DEAD, which brings you to...
THE END
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[pg.12]
The beautiful princess has just gotten rid of the evil witch, and she says that she'll help you go home, but only if you give her the wand.
pg.13 Give the princess the wand and go home
pg.14 take the wand and run
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Pg.13
You give the princess the wand and ask to go home. The princess smiles and takes the wand, then waves it around in the air three times, murmuring a spell. A huge black fortress appears and you step through it carefully. In less than a minute the fortress disappears and you find yourself outside your house. You sigh in relieve and walk in, bringing you to
THE END
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pg.14
You don't want to trust the princess, so you take the wand out of your pocket, and, gripping it tightly, you run away, not knowing where to go. The princess turns back into the white cat and runs after you with a loud HISSSSSS! You suddenly run right onto a cliff!! Stopping abruptly, you turn around and see the princess behind you. The princess looks at you calmly and murmurs, "Give me the wand or I'll push you off the cliff," but you notice the princesses disadvantage. You could have easily pushed her off the cliff yourself, she was so thin and bony. You wander if you should push her off the cliff or give her the wand and beg for help.
pg.15 You push the princess off the cliff
pg.16 You give the wand to the princess and beg for help
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pg.15
You decide to push the princess off the cliff and keep the wand. You step forward and pretends to give her the wand. When she leans over, you grab her and tosses her off the cliff, but she grabs your arm as she falls, pulling you to your death. You look up and see that you've left the wand on the cliff. Suddenly, the witch jumps out from behind a tree and snatches up the wand, laughing. You close your eyes and whispers a truly sorry apology as you die, which brings us to
THE END
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pg.16
You hand the wand back to the princess and begs for mercy. The princess agrees and waves the wand in the air three times. A huge black fortress appears and the princess motions for you to go inside. You step in cautiously and squeezes your eyes shut tight, praying. When you open them again, you're outside your house, which leads you into
THE END
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5 comments:
Hi, Rachel. Congratulations on your story. I've never seen such incredible "Choose Your Own Adventure"-style plotting from a grade 5 student before. Great work.
So as you know, you're the contest winner. I can't wait to meet you when I visit your school in June!
Congratulations again!
Gordon Korman
Thank you so much, I really like your stories, and I'm looking forward to meeting you, too. Also, I wish you good luck on your new book Swindle, I can't wait to read it!
Rachel [Danni] Shang
Fabulous story Rachel. I read it to Danielle tonight as her bedtime story. She has never read a choos your own story before and she loved it! We had to go back and read all the diferent ways that the story could have turned out!
Rachel your story i liked it so much i see mrs jacobs posted a comment to keep writing!!!!
nehal
Great work!
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